Repossession Repossession...?

Let's not be coy, I am a huge fan of property porn. I regularly spank the monkey of Beeney, McCloud and co. I laugh at the developers' obviously stupid ideas, throw IKEA magazines at those spoilt 'I want it all and damn the neighbours' Lord Fauntleroys and enjoy a deeply satisfying climax of full-on schadenfreude when their planning permission is turned down and the builders disappear. Sometimes there are nice couples who you like and are pleased for when all goes well but, of course, the heart of the porn is just the simple pleasure of nosing around other people's homes and sneering. But all that has changed now hasn't it?

Since Relocation Relocation (Wednesday 7th January 2009 8pm Ch4) was last on our screens a new reality has dawned. A couple of years ago our houses were seen as invincible profit-makers and pension plans. Now, your garden shed is worth more than your house is and your pension payout will be less per week than the pocket money you used to get as a child. K&P's old world of surefire investment opportunities has disappeared, evaporated into thin air along with our credit ratings. Buying (or selling) one home is impossible now, surely buying two is plain stupid? Should this program be on our screens at all during this perilous time? Isn't it now just irrelevant in today's stagnant market?

I'm a little torn on this. There seems an element of bad taste about this series showing at a time when every minute people are losing their jobs and their homes. There's a growing number of people with nowhere to live at all and yet here are The Fauntleroys wanting two homes! Three! Why not four? Oh damn it, at today's prices we might as well buy up the whole bally town - one can never have enough property can one? But really, it's just an entertainment show isn't it? Does being in a recession mean that the only thing we're allowed to watch are shows where people are poor and miserable? Of course not. RR is entertainment. The couple this week appeared particularly spoilt and rude, which is part of the joy of watching it. The wife was some sort of adult Violet Elizabeth whose every utterance started with the words "I want.. I want.. I want" "I need..." Me, me, me, me! To be honest, I think the husband wanted two homes so he could get away from her as often as he could. I was by turns snarling, laughing and gasping in astonishment at these two which is, of course, why I love these programs - as shallow as that seems.

The problem with the 'it's only entertainment innit' argument is the persistent background noise of 'expert financial advice' being given. My jaw dropped as Kirsty insisted loudly how one house was obviously a "great solid investment". Really? You sure? Then I started wondering how much K&P and all those other pornsters may have contributed to the current crisis over the years, however unknowingly, encouraging people to spend that little more and stretch themselves to the limit with a guarantee that the equity in their house would make everything okay. Great solid investments. I do remember thinking this being a bit dodgy in the past, especially in RR more than LLL, where they would overspend on their first property and then the second property would be a little more money than they had left but were still encouraged by K&P to go for it anyway as it would all be worth it as an investment in the end...

But lets not be too ungracious. The main reasons why we watch RR and its ilk have always been the following...
1) You get to nose about in other people's homes and sneer at their decor.
2) You get to shout at ridiculous poncy couples who have too much money for their own good and annoy you because you dont.
3) K&P are actually a rather good double act and very watchable. They are sometimes irritating, but that is oddly part of their appeal (and part of the 'act' now I think)
4) The schadenfreude feeling - it's powerful and satisfying every time.
5) Oh, and you get to nose about other people's homes...did I mention that?

It delivers, and I still like it. It'll be interesting if there is advice more pertinent to the current situation further on in the series (this first couple were a bit mad after all!) just to take a bit of that bad taste away. Otherwise, continue to view it as the entertaining property porn it was always intended to be!

PS. I noticed Kirsty was 23 months pregnant in this program, following the ever-popular trend in female property presenters (has Sarah Beeney ever not been pregnant?). The property market still fertile in some areas then...